I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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