I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize