I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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