it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize