Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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