Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I party with great urgency now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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