Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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