Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize