It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize