Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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