I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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