how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize