i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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