New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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