i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i think my mom watched the whole time
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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