I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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