the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
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I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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