I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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