Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she looked like the before picture.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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