Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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