Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize