Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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