4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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