About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
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Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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