Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize