Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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