They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize