I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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