I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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