"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize