is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize