Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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