can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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