If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize