You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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