Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize