I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize