Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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