Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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