Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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