yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize