threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize