I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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