you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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