You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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