mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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