the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize