shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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