You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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