Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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